TOP TEN TIP-OFFS THAT YOU MAY BE WORKING WITHOUT A NET

10) Not that you know it now but that swimsuit you just bought for the big pool party gala being held by your church this weekend is really, really see-through when wet.

9) Your motorcyle helmet was manufactured by a subsidiary of Boeing.

8) Unlike you, that lion at the zoo you keep taunting is hip to the fact his cage door is partly open.

7) The tightrope walking class you signed up for?... Ahh, you're way ahead of me. 

6) Not only will your bank not grant you that home equity loan you sorely need, but come next Wednesday they're subletting your garage.

5) That identity theft protection program you enrolled in recently?... yeah, they're identity thieves.

4) That back-up computer file for all your financial records that you take great pains to protect was accidentally interchanged with your list of fave teenage mix tapes.

3) Your money launderer just turned state's evidence.

2) Your used radar detector sold to you by a friend of a friend is really just one of his kid's computer toys.

And the top ten tip-off you may be working without a net:

1) The reason you haven't caught any butterflies lately?... (see #7).