TOP TEN PREDICTIONS FOR TAYLOR SWIFT IN THE UPCOMING YEAR

10) She'll write a new song entitled "Am I Really So All That That You Would Cut Away From The Super Bowl Every Two Minutes Just To See What I'm Up To?" And, yeah, it'll go platinum in, like... two minutes.

9) She'll sit Charlie Sheen down and give him a tutorial on "winning!"

8) She'll have her own talk show where she's both the host and the guest and, some days... even the audience. And, yeah, she'll probably sing.

7) In order to be more well-rounded she'll take up bowling, managing a perfect game within weeks, the whole time writing a song in her head about bowling the perfect game.

6) She'll perform live on Uranus... Three shows, actually.

5) Taking a page from Jimmy Buffett, she'll start her own fast food restaurant franchise called "Swift Eats". And, yeah, a "Cold Dish of Revenge" is on the menu.

4) She'll go to Vegas, putting all of the past year's earnings on black at the roulette wheel and lose. And then pen a kickass song about it.

3) Come a year from now we'll all realize, "Wow, she really kept a low profile the past 12 months"... (sorry, just seein' if you were awake).

2) She'll buy that Vegas casino she lost all her money at and turn it into another Swift Eats, ya' know, a place where by then a newly-jilted, retired Travis Kelce can find work.

And the top ten prediction for Taylor Swift in the upcoming year:

1) She'll do the next Super Bowl Half-Time Show, singing "Am I Really So All That That You Would Cut Away From The Super Bowl Every Two Minutes Just To See What I'm Up To?" And then play tight end in the second half.