10) Hot Dog Eating Contests: Throw emulsified meat trimmings into a batter-like substance of preservatives and food-coloring stuffed into casings made of collagen from animal intestines and get a crowd to root on people to shove as many of them down their throats as possible... For realz?

9) The saying "It's five o'clock somewhere": Yeah, like lushes didn't already have enough rationalizations to drink earlier?

8) Online influencers: Convincing people that they should embrace a total stranger's taste in foods, fashion and the arts?... Isn't that what friends and family are for?

7) Long division: Why was this necessary again? From the very beginning, weren't we all plenty satisfied with short division?

6) Take Your Child to Work Day: Forcing your kid to witness eight hours of pure drudgery along with a nagging boss and your co-workers' stupid office hijinks?... I don't know, kinda sounds like... child abuse?

5) Singing in the rain: Just an open invitation to a mouthful of impure water.

4) The game of Musical Chairs: Constantly cutting off the music and giving people less room to sit every thirty seconds can't be helping anyone's sense of community, can it?

3) Taking the high road: Sure, it sounded good until everyone jumped on board. Now it takes you twice as long as the low road.

2) The saying "People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones": Talk about overkill. So now what, they can't even throw stones in the other direction? So, like, no stone throwing at all?

And the number one idea that never should've reached fruition?

1) Doin' the Hokey-Pokey: That's just messed up.