TOP TEN CONSIDERATIONS FOR NATIONAL DAYS

10) National Pull My Finger Or My Leg Day: Finally a chance to identify just who the infantile, immature dolts of the world are as opposed to those who happen to appreciate a good fart joke.

9) National Put a Spork In It Day: The time has come for this ingenius hybrid cutlery to finally get its day in the sun.

8) National If It Ain't Broke, Don't Fix It Day: A guaranteed head-scratcher, sure, but in the end, a pretty chill day, right?

7) National Geographic, Agenda, News, Gallery, Enquirer, Velvet, Express, Guard & Kidney Foundation Day: It'd be nice to give some of the already established nationals a day to hang out, maybe get to know each other a little better.

6) National Sitting On a Tuffet Eating Your Curds and Whey Day: For all you Little Miss Muffet wannabes... have at it.

5) National Trail Mix and Heimlich Maneuver Day: Trail mix and the Heimlich already have their separate national days but combining them just might save a few lives.

4) National Just Turn All Your Social Devices Off And Actually Talk To Your Friends And Loved Ones For A Change Day: I've jumped the shark, I know. But still.

3) National Roll Out a Red Carpet and When Someone Walks On It Greet Them With a Microphone and Ask Them Who They're Wearing Day: Ya' know, like they do as the Oscars? ... C'mon, it'll be fun... No, really.

2) National Keep Holding On To My Eggos Day: While fighting over food shouldn't necessarily be condoned, this one time annual tussle over frozen waffles might just be refreshing.

And the number one consideration for national days:

1) National Put a Sock In It Day: Really no rhyme or reason. Just like the way it sounds.