10) It's time to put animosities aside when it comes to Gemini and Venus. Instead, get pissed at Pisces, Capricorn and maybe even Aries, the real culprits.

9)  Mercury's looking to go retrograde so you might wanna cue Aquarius to get the hell out of Dodge.

8) Don't shy away from the limelight. Boldly pursue your goals with a spirit of abandon.  But first, maybe up your life insurance coverage.

7) Venus, your planetary ruler, unites with Mercury retrograde later today.  These two, it's like they don't even try to hide it anymore.

6) Mars is now spinning in your solar ninth house of expansion. Do whatever it takes to keep it out of your garage.

5) When Luna migrates into Virgo you'll feel a shift. That and a bit of indigestion. Pop a couple Tums; you'll be fine.

4) If great heights are to be achieved you must be honest with yourself as well as others. Find balance between grace and severity. And if you can't do that, knock off early and do some day drinking.

3) As the sun and Leo align, your day will get off to a practical start. And then later, around three-ish, everything will fall apart.

2) Embrace your spirituality this afternoon and, whatever you do, don't allow Jupiter to connect with Uranus.

And the number one horoscope you don't see every day:

1) Expect the unexpected. Even though it'll be the usual.