TOP TEN SIGNS THAT YOU MAY HAVE WOKEN UP ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE BED TODAY

10) Right out of the gate you spent a solid ten in front of the mirror doing your De Niro impression, “You talkin’ to me?... You talkin’ to me?"

9) You greeted your smiling neighbor's hello with "So's your old man!"

8) While driving on the road you flipped off a passing motorist, a couple of nuns and an out-of-state tour group.

7) Your average daily curse word count went up threefold.

6) Seemingly coming out of your funk, you offered an olive branch to an arch-rival, opting to bring him lunch. Then you called up his favorite restaurant… and ordered crow.

5) When the cashier at the grocery store queried, "Paper or plastic?" you countered with, "Nothing short of genuine leather."

4) You cornered the mailman on your front porch, hands on hips, demanding an explanation for the recent rash of junk mail.

3) All those snarky things we think about other people but never say?... Yeah, you said 'em.

2) You went down to the driving range earlier to hit a bucket of balls... at cars!

And the number one sign that you may have woken up on the wrong side of the bed today:

1) You were wedged in between your mattress and the wall.