TOP TEN REASONS WHY SKELETONS SHOULD REMAIN IN THE CLOSET

10) The relaxation benefits are worth it alone. They're away from prying eyes, able to bathe in golden silence, plus they can hang on hooks and take a load off their metatarsals.

9) It'll give 'em time to calm down and think about what they've done.

8) Like you don't have enough clutter around the house already?

7) You just know if they get out they're gonna develop wanderlust and that's like the worst kind of lust for a skeleton.

6) They could try on some clothes, get a sense of style.

5) Company's coming and we don't need another scene like the last one.

4) Going out now with Halloween officially over?... yeah, how thirsty would that look?

3) Beats a coffin, metacarpals down.

2) You lose your skeleton key that's what happens. Sorry, I didn't make the rules.

And the number one reason why skeletons should remain in the closet:

1) Ya know, to scare the moths away.