TOP TEN REAL LIFE THINGS NOT SEEN IN MOVIES

10)  A spouse comes into the kitchen to find their partner has cooked them a big breakfast and they don't beg off saying they're late for work; they actually sit down and eat it and then grab a second cup of coffee.

  9)  You finally wake up out of a monthslong coma and your muscle tone totally sucks.

  8)  You tell the bartender you want a beer and, after getting the stink eye, you realize, yeah, you're gonna have to name the brand.

 7)  Rather than getting dirt and grime everywhere, people make the effort to take off their shoes before they put their feet up on the couch or bed.

  6)  After a couple has been hot and heavy for, like, the entire night, the woman doesn't cover herself up to her neck with the sheets for fear that even one inch of her skin might be visible.

  5)  Someone says, "What could go wrong?" and nothing does.

  4)  A woman who tends to look mousy all the time suddenly takes off her glasses and lets down her hair and, yeah, she looks a tad prettier but, a stunning beauty?... c'mon.

  3)  Two people getting into a fight and it ends in, like, one punch.

  2)  You're forced to get a pair of bolt cutters to cut that heavy locked padlock that you somehow lost the key to.  You do this because you don't have a gun handy.

And the number one thing not seen in movies:

  1)  You return someone's call only to find it was a butt dial.