TOP TEN REASONS WE PREFER FAST FOOD TO HEALTHY FOOD

10) Time Element: It's quick and easy, no peeling, dicing, chopping, cooking, washing, drying or putting away the dishes. You just eat it and throw away the wrapper. Hell, it's name even has "fast" in it.

9) Presentation: Gleaming golden fries, bacon melting on a greasy, tender double-burger as opposed to what... leafy greens?

8) Access: Pull onto any major street and a half dozen fast food chains are at your disposal. Farms, on the other hand, yeah, they're, like... not.

7) Toppings: C'mon, there's usually bacon involved!.

6) Sense of Community: Peeps congregate at fast food joints, all in a great mood, excitedly awaiting their order. The frozen vegetable section of your local supermarket?... not so much.

5) T.V. Commercials: You watch a fast food ad and your taste buds are doing handstands. A televised sale on kale won't even get 'em to sit up straight.

4) Reliability: Fast food gives you that perfect grease, salt and sugar combo every single time. Produce is liable to result in bruised bananas, moldy raspberries. Or fruit with actual inedible pits in 'em!

3) The Olfactory Lure: You can smell the fryer from a mile away. Salad?... I don't know, three feet, tops?

2) Convenience: When was the last time you entered a drive-thru at a vegetable stand?... Exactly.

And the number one reason we prefer fast food to healthy food:

1) The Plus Factor: Did I mention the bacon?!!