10) Your ringtone, normally upbeat, fluctuating from Kool & The Gang's "Celebrate" to Pharrell Williams' "Happy" is now permanently stuck on B.B. King's "The Thrill is Gone".

9) Your reaction when your doctor diagnosed you with "a failure to thrive" was barely a shrug.

8) You know how you tended to utter that heavy sigh when you bent over or did something strenuous?... Yeah, now it's every exhale.

7) The other day you refused to find Waldo.

6) You've gotten to where you seemingly don't have the will to return anything anymore: emails, phone calls, texts... gifts... library books... tennis volleys.

5) This "Hey, I'm just a method actor staying in character for my role as a depressed hobo in the upcoming Scorcese flick" isn't foolin' anybody.

4) You keep putting off little things like taking out the trash, watering the plants, combing your hair... eating.

3) You have a tell; it's all the wailing.

2) Not sayin' you've been lethargic, just layin' around the house doing nothing for a really long time now but, yeah, those are bed sores.

And the number one tip-off you have the post-holiday blues:

1) Your new favorite word is "Alas".