TOP TEN TIP-OFFS THAT YOUR TIME IS UP

10)  A 60 Minutes news crew is at your door demanding answers to some probing questions regarding last night’s whereabouts and your purported affair with a has-been Division 3 football mascot.     

  9)  That really cool selfie you were taking on the mountaintop suddenly looks more like a man free-falling without a parachute.

  8)  Time Magazine sends you a notice telling you your subscription is about to run out.

  7)  In the midst of a crosswalk, you look over and realize, “Whoa, that bus isn’t stopping, is it?”

  6)  You’re off in a fog when someone taps you on the shoulder, indicating you’re next in line at the deli counter.

  5)  That really thin guy in the long black hooded cloak holding some kind of long-handled gardening tool is at your workplace again and refusing to leave.

  4)  The proctor just announced, “Put your pencils down and pass your test books forward!”

  3)  Up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, you walk towards what you think is the night light in the distance… Yeah, think again.

  2)  There’s a note on your door from your landlord saying he’s not renewing your lease.

And the number one tip off that your time is up:

1)  Admit it, the fact that you’re reading this means you had some inkling, right?