10) You just took your fourth cold shower of the morning. And you woke up late... Really late... Like twenty minutes ago.

  9) You're pretty sure that given the choice of living the rest of your life with your loving family or all alone on the outskirts of an Eskimo village you'd be lacing up those snow shoes in a New York minute.

  8) You find yourself constantly listening to Coldplay and you don't even like them.

  7) It's not that your air conditioner's on the fritz, it's just that you can't muster the energy or the will to make the six step walk to turn it on.

  6) Both Siri and Alexa seem a bit out of it, taking too long to answer your call and then only in a panted breath, tearfully pleading for a cold drink.

  5) In the midst of traffic you suddenly pull off onto the shoulder, realizing that as long as your AC is working and you've got enough gas in the tank this is your new home. Ya' know, until you have to pee.

  4) You're constantly daydreaming of faraway, exotic places like Junea, Alaska, the North Pole... the freezer section at Costco.

  3) The term "wetsuit" usually associated with surfers and divers now aptly describes your daily apparel at work.

  2) Unable to cope, you find your mind wandering, searching for satisfying ways to end it all. So far "the icicle to the heart" plan is the frontrunner.

And the number one tip-off that you may be experiencing the dog days of summer:

  1) Your VISA bill arrived with a huge expense labeled "The Carribean Kennel Health Club and Spa". You look around for your dog but he's no where to be found.