TOP TEN TIP-OFFS THAT THINGS ARE LOOKIN' GRIM

10)  As you double over with stomach pain you notice the "sell-by" date on the milk carton you just guzzled from says "Gothcha!"

  9)  Your tarot card reader demands to be paid upfront.

  8)  It finally hits you... you're the only one in the police lineup.

  7) Your lottery ticket Power Ball number is -17.

  6)  Your secretary buzzes in, alerting you that a "60 Minutes" undercover news crew is in the lobby and has a few questions.

  5)  Unable to wake from a deep sleep you can't help wonder why your alarm clock sounds more like someone flatlining.

  4)  Your fortune cookie reads, "Things are lookin' grim."

  3)  Having reached a verdict, the jury is ushered in, refusing to look your way at the defendant's table.  Except for the one with the wandering eye holding the hand-drawn electric chair sketch.

  2)  Your doctor's office keeps calling to see if you've gotten your affairs in order.

And the number one tip-off that things are lookin' grim:

  1)  Your reflection in the mirror has stopped even trying.