TOP TEN TIMES A HOSIE JUST WON'T WORK

10)  When you're in Canada, home of the hosers, they just think you're making fun of 'em, eh?

  9)  When you attempt to finagle a belt... a title belt... from the heavyweight.

  8)  Anytime it involves a fierce, wild animal.  Yeah, they just don't get it.

  7)  When the other person's packing heat.

  6)  When you're dealing with one of those friends who think everything you say is some kind of joke.

  5)  When someone flashes a badge and demands proof.

  4)  When you're talking to a native Bostonian and they immediately pick up that you're faking their accent.

  3)  When it involves an infant (see #8, 2nd sentence).

  2)  When you attempt it on someone's whiskey at a biker bar.

And the number one time a hosie just won't work:

  1)  With a deaf person who's a really bad lip reader.