TOP TEN THINGS YOU'RE STILL WAITING FOR

10)  Hell to freeze over.  Not that you believe in hell necessarily or that something supposedly that hot could freeze over but, ya know, just because it'd be so cool to see. 

  9)  The opportunity to go back in time twenty years ago and berate your younger self for whining about getting older.

  8)  The Flat Earthers to just sort of wander too far and fall off the planet.

  7)  A red light when you've got something quick you need to attend to in the car and can't help but catch every single green light the rest of the way there!

  6)  A clock that'll keep quicker time during work hours.

  5)  Successfully holding your breath until you get that thing that people told you not to hold your breath waiting for.

  4)  The exact right moment to call a time-out.

  3)  Those extra napkins you asked your smarmy waiter for, like, six months ago.  The same one that assured you he'd have 'em for you in a jiff.   The same jiff that means a moment, not a freakin' half year ago!

  2)  That other shoe to fall.

And the number one thing you're still waiting for:

  1)  The flying cars.  They promised us the flying cars!