TOP TEN THINGS YOU WISH YOU COULD FORGET

10)  That time you made goofy faces at the murder suspects, mistakenly thinking you were behind a two-way mirror.

  9)  Getting caught cheating at cards...  by your seven-year-old niece.

  8)  The look in your doctor's eyes when you told her you hadn't realized the meds she'd prescribed were to be taken orally.

  7)  Damn near every Adam Sandler movie you ever watched.

  6)  That unfortunate incident when you hosted a party, offering a guest a non-alcoholic beverage because she was pregnant... only she wasn't.

  5)  Having attended that 4-hour lecture on "Coping With Boredom".

  4)  The ensuing events with your family after mistaking ipecac for Worcestershire sauce in your meatloaf recipe.

  3)  Trying to spark a conversation with those mimes.

  2)  When you accidentally stumbled upon that octogenarian nude beach.

And the number one thing you wish you could forget:

  1)  The first nine answers to this drivel.