TOP TEN THINGS YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO ONCE YOU'RE DEAD

10)  Open your front door to see a group of smiling Jehovah's Witnesses handing out pamphlets and asking for a minute of your time.

  9)  Give one hundred percent.  Or any percent, actually.

  8)  Diet.

  7)  Blame any publicly perceived flatulence on your dog.

  6)  Read the ingredients written on the package of hot dogs you're cooking, thinking there has to be some mistake.

  5)  Listen to another politician.

  4)  Hit the snooze button on your alarm.  Or any part of your alarm, for that matter.

  3)  Take "no" for an answer.

  2)  Check in with your probation officer.  Not sayin' you were a law breaker but, ya know, just in case.

And the number one thing you don't have to do once you're dead:

  1)  Sift through this minutiae.