TOP TEN THINGS NOT TO DO DURING A JOB INTERVIEW

10)  Answer the "Tell me a little bit about yourself" line by nodding off.

  9)  Refer to the interviewer's displayed family photos as " A beefy bunch, eh?"

  8)  Start by going in for the handshake only to pull away, teasing, "Psyche!"

  7)  As they look over your resume, chime in with, "Yeah, I took the liberty of omitting the felonies."

  6)  Challenge the inquirer to a "winner take all"  arm wrestling competition.

  5)  Forget to wear pants or a skirt.

  4)  Straight up ask the interviewer if they're a nepo baby.

  3)  When queried as to if there's anything they can get you, respond with,  "An oaky, well-balanced chardonnay.  That and a BLT, thanks."

  2)  Ask the questioner to move things along; you've got plans.

And the number one thing not to do during a job interview:

  1)  LSD... or anything from the hallucinogenic family, actually.