TOP TEN SIGNS YOU MIGHT NOT BE THAT SMART

10)  Your role models are Beavis & Butthead and Jessica Simpson... In that order.

  9)  When someone asks you to pull their finger, you do... Every time!

  8)  You can't be swayed from thinking I.Q. stands for Intimate Quiche.

  7)  To guarantee a lottery win, you attempted to play every possible combination, running out of money at number 87.

  6)  When your boss asked why you thought you deserved a raise, you responded with... "Because."

  5)  The producers of the TV show, Jeopardy, asked you to leave.

  4)  You frequently mistake desert for dessert, racking up some outrageous restaurant tabs.

  3)  Your smartphone wants nothing to do with you.

  2)  The thermometer bulb was short and thick, not long and slender, red color-coded, not blue, and, yeah, clearly labeled "rectal", not "oral", and yet?

And the number one sign you might not be that smart:

  1)  All the while you've been anticipating this last answer to be a real dandy.