TOP TEN SIGNS YOU MIGHT BE BIZARRO WORLD MATERIAL

10)  Yesterday, after successfully hurdling the high bar, you couldn't help but preen about and pat yourself on the back, loudly declaring yourself the winner, only to be informed it was a limbo contest.

  9)  Lately you've been lobbying the IRS to send YOU money.

  8)  The other day you received your third speeding ticket in a month and just like the other two it was for driving twice the posted limit... in reverse.

  7)  You seemingly don't know right from left, up from down or good from bad.  And, yeah, your take on haberdashery is borderline immoral.

  6)  You're constantly mistaking "bad seeds" for "good times".

  5)  The past year you've been starting your week on Wednesday and ending it on Saturday with Mondays and Tuesdays optional.

  4)  This buttering your cell phone and talking into your toast at breakfast ritual is totally freakin' your family out!

  3)  Your newest project is a highlight reel of you lip syncing to Ashlee Simpson and MillI Vanilli tunes.

  2)  It's not just that you think the world is flat.  You're pretty sure it's filled with some kind of edible dessert topping, too.

And the number one sign you might be Bizarro World Material:

  1)  When you dance you have two right feet.