TOP TEN SIGNS THAT YOU’VE MISREAD THE ROOM

10)  That applause you thought you were hearing turned out to be the clapping sounds of formal footwear hitting the tile floor during an audience mass exodus of your seminar. 

  9)  Your last job interview resulted in a police escort off the property.

  8)  Going with the “Huh, let me think about it”, instead of “I do” during your wedding vows?... Yeah, bet you wish you had that one to do over.

  7)  Your rendition of “I Shot the Sherrif” would’ve been great at a karaoke bar.  Not so much in that police lineup.

  6)  Your last three jokes bombed so badly that someone actually pulled out a bugle and played Taps.

  5)  Turns out your book club didn’t disband after all.  They just aren’t telling you where they meet.

  4)  Your wearing of dark glasses while demanding to take the braille version of the written driving test at the DMV didn’t quite get the chuckles you expected.  

  3)  Generally speaking, unexpected flatulence can be amusing.  Just not at a packed hot yoga class.

  2)  Your rebuttal to the state trooper who clocked you at 74 in a 50 MPH zone, that he must be dyslexic?... (see the conclusion to #8).

And the number one sign that you’ve misread the room:

1)     All the restroom stalls are occupied… by people of the opposite  gender.