TOP TEN SIDE EFFECTS WARNINGS FOR EVERYDAY LIFE EVENTS

10) Eating at a Fast Food Restaurant: Side effects include high blood pressure, nausea, weight gain, water retention and a sneaking suspicion some of what you just ate was neither animal nor vegetable.

9) Bringing Your Vehicle To the Mechanic: Side effects include rental-car fee, possible time off work, a humongous hit to your checking account and having to put up with that godawful free in-car strawberry-scented air freshener smell for the next month.

8) Not asking for Directions on the Road When You Should: Side effects include an initial false sense of security followed by the sinking realization an hour later that, per usual, you're now officially out of state.

7) Going to a Singles Bar: Side effects include putting up with obnoxious bouncers, ear-splitting music,overpriced beverages and an anguished feeling that the last person you asked out is now huddled with their posse, laughing and pointing your way.

6) Waiting in the Check-Out Line at the Market: Side effects include rolling your eyes at the latest scandal mags, the urge to snicker at your fellow shopper's buying habits and knowing, no matter which line you picked, it will undoubtedly be the slowest.

5) Attending Thanksgiving Dinner: Side effects include catching up with your loved-ones, enjoying a scrumptuous dinner, basking in the glow of an NFL game while in a tryptophan-induced comatose state and upping your visits to the shrink due to the toxic fallout from your "loved ones".

4) Taking a Leisurely Walk: Side effects include taking in the sunshine, getting a little exercise and cleaning the dog crap off your sneakers... again!

3) Drinking Too Much at the Office Holiday Party: Side effects include a feeling of total euphoria, complete disregard for anyone and everyone around you, dance moves rivaling Elaine on "Seinfeld" and a visit to the Unemployment Office the following Monday.

2) Road Rage Incidents: Side effects include a possible hospital visit after the trip to the police department, replacing a smashed windshield, once again resulting in having to put up with the godawful smell from your free in-car strawberry-scented air freshener for the next month.

And the number one side effects warning for everyday life events?

1) Doing Volunteer Work: Side effects include a sense of purpose sprinkled in with a bit of smug self satisfaction and, best of all, a huge smile knowing you can quit this gig anytime you want!