TOP TEN REASONS YOU CAN’T GO HOME AGAIN

10)  Your last words before leaving were, “As God is my witness, I’m never coming back!... Never!… Don’t laugh, I mean it this time!!”

  9)  Your car was just booted for unpaid parking tickets.

  8)  Your sense of direction really sucks.

  7)  That outstanding warrant for your arrest last time you were there?  Ya know, that whole “aiding and abetting” incident?... Yeah, it’s still outstanding.

  6)  Someone else is living in your old house.

  5)  Because of the “infield fly rule” (consult a baseball fan if necessary).

  4)  When you used to live in a trailer park, smack dab in the middle of Tornado Alley, its pretty much a given.

  3)  You never left.

  2)  Prospects looked good when they finally took the boot off your car.  Until that whole repossession thing.

And the number one reason you can’t go home again:

  1) The amnesia, remember?