TOP TEN REASONS TO FIRE YOUR CADDIE

10)  Instead of yelling "fore" when you hit an errant tee shot, they laugh.  And not a muffled snicker either; talkin' one of those real, contagious belly laughs.

  9)  They constantly refer to caddying for you as "a good walk spoiled".

  8)  Their idea of a motivational speech contains the phrases "you're beyond bad" and "kill me now".

  7)  When it rains they refuse to share the umbrella.

  6)  Sometimes when they go into the woods to look for your ball they don't come back.

  5)  It's not uncommon, in the middle of your backswing, to hear them yell "Noonan!!"

  4)  They find out what colors you're gonna wear that day and then dress in something that totally clashes.

  3)  More than once you've caught them trying to pawn your clubs.

  2)  They never really got the knack for furtively kicking your ball back in bounds.

And the number one best reason to fire your caddie:

  1)  Their excuse for not helping you read a putt is "dyslexia".