10) You spend a fortune for great seats at a football game only to realize the clown sitting directly in front of you is just that... a clown. A really, really large clown with humongous vision-blocking hair who's cheering for the other team.

9) You've always had this hunch that you'd be good at it but never had the guts to set it in motion.

8) Walking from your home to your car a horde of Jehovah's Witnesses start badgering you with questions about really personal stuff. Ya' know, stuff like... religion.

7) It'll look good on your resume, ya' know, in case you ever get sent to jail and are forced to hang with tough convict types.

6) It's been on your Bucket List for years and, hell, you're not getting any younger.

5) While standing in the express lane at your local supermarket the person ahead of you, the one with thirty-plus items and just as many coupons, asks the cashier for a pen so they can write out a check.

4) Just to see if the other person will take their cue and retaliate with their teeth and nails, too.

3) Dog-tired from shopping all season for that perfect holiday gift, you finally spot the last one in stock about to be snatched up by someone else. Someone a lot smaller than you. Someone you're pretty sure you can take.

2) Your small talk has been suspect lately and how cool a story would that be to relate at the next cocktail party?

And the top ten reason to fight tooth and nail:

1) 'Cause fighting "neck and shoulders" makes no sense at all.