10) Carrot Top. Yeah, this comic's stage name may have been hip and fresh 30-odd years ago but times have changed and so have our vegetable preferences. Need something more cutting edge, ya' know, like Kale... Kale Kebab, now that really pops!

9) L.A. Lakers. The name made sense originally when the team was in Minnesota, the "Land of 10,000 Lakes", not so much now. Alternate suggestions: The La-La-Landers?... The L.A. Smog?

8) Iceland and Greenland. Iceland is green and Greenland is icy so maybe... Greenland and Iceland? Just sayin'.

7) Cedric the Entertainer. A bit outdated in this day when everyone has a specialty. Why not just narrow it down to Cedric the Comedian or Cedric that Sitcom Guy?

6) Southwest. A once successful airline now the butt of every late night comedian's jokes. Something to make everyone forget: Not Southwest.

5) Big Brother. This TV show name was taken from the 1984 George Orwell classic, "Nineteen Eighty-Four" depicting citizens under constant surveillance. Today no one remembers it (and, yeah, no one reads). A more accurate handle?..."CBS Discovers a Legal Way of Kidnapping 16 People for the Summer".

4) Rumer Willis. Time to tell Bruce's daughter that she's finally reached definitive status and can now go by Truth Willis (yeah I know it's "rumor"; just work with me here, okay?).

3) The Foo Fighters. Just add the "d" and make 'em The Food Fighters, already.

2) The Nielson Ratings. At one time an accurate barometer reflecting what America was watching on the tube now totally passe with the advent of so many other social devices. A new monicker: The Nielson Schmielson Ratings.

And the number one name overdue for a change:

1) Dick Trickle. So this racecar driver's parents, the Trickles, they had it out for their son, why?... Thorndike Trickle, Harvey Trickle, Farnsworth Trickle... any other Trickle. Just pick a different Trickle!