10) Your doctor's response to your latest blood test was, "While I can't commit to the viability of today's results I feel confident that in the days ahead progress will be made and your future plasma endeavors will prevail."

9) Your mechanic noted that your engine's secondary influx receptor was working at only 40% capacity. When you asked him what that was he said "less than half".

8) The dress code on a recent party invite read: "Festive Causual, Formal or Semi-Formal, Black Tie (or white, your choice) Optional, Kinda-Smart-to-Mid-Casual, Come-As You Are... or not."

7) Your elective English course syllabus stated "only potential students overly acquainted with existential prose and poetry should apply... unless you're feelin' really, really lucky."

6) Because of your negative income you went on a working vacation where you dined on jumbo shrimp, using plastic silverware.

5) "Expect delays to exceed whatever built-in time extensions you'd previously anticipated in other road work related incidents you've experienced in the past", was the last road sign you encountered.

4) In looking over the menu at the new, upscale, extremely pricey eatery you noticed their mission statement: "If our gastropub doesn't measure up to your standards then we will either comp your meal or discount the price of said meal to the point that it will cost you an arm and only half a leg. Our call."

3) While lost in your car you stopped to ask for directions only to be told "you can't get there from here".

2) Your latest bank statement charged you a fee for "possible intent to withdraw a sum equal or greater than what is legally deemed forthright in regards to previously stated correspondence with a third party."

And the top ten indication that your present life might just be one giant word salad?

1) After a solid half hour of your neighborhood grocer attempting to explain the difference between "all natural" and "organic" lettuce you had to call for an interpreter.