TOP TEN INCIDENTS WHEN A WHISPER IS INAPPROPRIATE

10)  When the minister utters "Speak now or forever hold your peace" and you're in the back of the church, knowing for a fact that the groom has a whole other family in Peoria.

  9)  In the Alps when you're attempting to pull off an echo.

  8)  As the anchor in the Debate Club finals (unless the topic is "Whispers").

  7)  When your cheering on your favorite band to do an encore.

  6)  When you're pretty sure the other person is hard of hearing.

  5)  When you whisper instead of yell "fire" in a crowded theater and there actually is a fire.

  4)  When you're underwater.

  3)  When you're sitting in on a "Paranoids Anonymous" meeting.

  2)  In a "No Whispering" zone.

And the number one incident when a whisper is inappropriate:

  1)  When you're reading this.  Knock it off and read to yourself instead of bugging everyone else around you!