TOP TEN "BEAM ME UP NOW!" SITUATIONS

10)  On New Year's Eve, in the midst of the countdown, as your date with the obnoxious personality, daunting halitosis and odd face tattoo choices eyes you lasciviously, going in for the big smooch.

  9)  When you realize the bank heist has gone awry.

  8)  When you're in a compromising situation and someone yells, "I know you're hiding under the bed!"

  7)  A street fight breaks out, and you without your brass knuckles.

  6)  When you're on an African safari and the lion lock eyes on you... and winks.

  5)  One of those blah Mondays when you just need to get away.

  4)  Basically, anytime, as a kid, when your mom dramatically shouts, slowly with perfect enunciation, your first, middle and last names in sequence.

  3)  The second you set eyes on that subpoena.

  2)  When you volunteered for that magic act and the overly-smug magician's about to make you reappear in front of the audience.

And the number one "Beam Me Up Now!" situation:

  1)  While doing the Downward Dog in a packed yoga class and you let one rip.