The Unofficial Blog of Super Bowl LIX

I get that this is just month two of the new year but think ahead, into the future, well into autumn, a few days before the fourth Thursday of November when Thanksgiving arrives.  You're hosting this year so you're checking out the supermarket ads, deciding which stores have the best deals on a bird with all the trimmings, not to mention fave desserts and snacks for in-between.  And the wine.  By all means, don't forget the wine (I like to put it at the beginning of the list in really bold letters, underlined with quotes and then again 2 or 3 more times just to be sure).  And while you're perusing the circulars you notice the heading reads, "Savings For Gobble-Gobble Day" or "Turkey Thursday Deals" or maybe "Fantastic Fowl Day Favorites!"  Would seem kind of odd, right?  I mean, the word "Thanksgiving" being noticeably absent and all?  If you didn't know any better, you'd think that these grocery institutions were going out of their way to omit it from their advertising. But that's crazy.  Why bring up such an obviously bogus instance when clearly this omission of the word doesn't currently happen?... Humor me. 

Indeed, the word, "Thanksgiving" is always front and center when it comes to advertising the holiday and the reason's pretty simple: It was coined before 1870 when the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office came into existence.  And if you're thinking that doesn't matter, that nobody gets to trademark "Thanksgiving"-- hell, it's ingrained in our tradition, part of our country's heritage, as American as apple pie and godawful reality shows!--yeah, I feel ya.  But the truth is the same could be said regarding our view of the Super Bowl and look how that turned out... Say what?  That's right, our beloved pastime, that decisive "winner take all" contest held each year in early February with a halftime show guaranteed to enthrall, enchant, mesmerize and even demonize (ask Janet Jackson; she'll tell ya), will not be deemed the "Super Bowl" on any advertisements soon.  If you don't believe me check out your current store flyers (go ahead, I'll wait)... Yeah, you're seein' a lot of "The Big Game", aren't ya?  Nothing "super", nothing "bowl"-ish; just "The Big Game".  

For the record, the phrase "Super Bowl" was trademarked by the NFL in 1969, the unmistakable consequence being that anyone intending to use it in an advertising venture should be prepared to sell their farm, their summer hideaway, their long-cherished vinyl collection and the bulk of their custom tailored paisley velvet Nehru jackets they're still waiting to come back into vogue, for the privilege.  So, why is the NFL charging so much?  Because it can.  Big-time corporations are more than willing to trade big-time dollars to garner the attention of over 120 million viewers.  The cost escalates if these corporations are looking for exclusivity, giving them the right to promote themselves as "The Official (your name here) of the Super Bowl".  And with all this at stake, you can see why the NFL goes to great lengths to ensure a cease- and-desist order will make the rounds--followed by legal action if necessary--to any middling offender.  Ahh... litigiousness, another "American as apple pie" custom, to be sure.

Also in play, the Kansas City Chiefs, a contender in this week's bowl and holder of the last two championship trophies, have the opportunity to "Three-Peat"--another trademarked catchphrase, owned by former L.A. Laker coach, Pat Riley, meaning to win three consecutive championships or tournaments, a feat so far unprecedented in the NFL.  This hat trick has been accomplished in the NBA a couple of times by the Chicago Bulls ('93 and '98) and the Lakers in 2002 as well as in baseball by the New York Yankees in 2000.  And, for the record, definitely should've been by my beloved New England Patriots who, back in 2005, having two consecutive titles under their belt, lost the AFC division playoff bid to the Broncos.  They overpowered 'em throughout--gaining 420 yards to Denver's measly 286, albeit turning over the ball 5 times--only to lose, thanks to the felonious officiating by men in zebra suits obviously on the take.  To say these refs were blind as a bat would be a disservice to bats everywhere!  It wasn't fair, I tell ya!  The fix was in!!... Sorry, I digress.   

Okay, so what have we learned here?  Certainly, being the champion three years in a row isn't easy as it's only been done a handful of times in any of the four major sports and has yet to be accomplished in football.  The NFL put the kibosh on the words "Super Bowl" being used by just anyone for material gain unless they pony up a fortune.  Bill Riley stands to earn a king's ransom with a cut from all the "Three-Peat" proceeds on any t-shirts, baseball caps, mugs or jackets being sold should KC pull it off.  Which reminds me... I've gotta run if I'm gonna get my new catchphrase, "Four-Peat", trademarked before someone else realizes and beats me to the punch.  And if Kansas City doesn't get it done and my registration's all for naught?... hell, I've still got the Nehru jackets.