The "Misspoken" Word
So here's a scenario: A builder gets a contract to erect a high-rise in a major city. Once it's completed, the owners quickly get tenants on board and things go swimmingly until... a couple years later when the building topples over for no apparent reason. Legal inquiries are made and word gets out that the contractor did a shoddy job, misrepresenting blueprints, forging permits and straight-out lying to building inspectors at every turn when it came to code compliance. The contractor goes to court, surrounded by a phalanx of lawyers who argue the case that it's not their client's fault; the skyscraper was simply "misbuilt". The judge takes a couple of moments, thoughtfully considers the defense's take and then nods, strikes the gavel and proclaims the defendant innocent of all charges. The contractor and the attorneys, all smug smiles, hug it out before packing up and leaving the courtroom en route to a victory celebration... Sounds about right, right?
Okay, before you call BS, I'm calling BS. Obviously, this fiasco wouldn't fly here in the good ol' US of A; at least, not at this moment in time (the near future?... stay tuned). When someone builds something they're responsible in the eyes of the law, meaning they must have architects and engineers come up with blueprints that meet lawful specifications and then be overseen by building inspectors to ensure that the job has been done correctly. If any sleight of hand by the contractor is detected and laws are broken then they will be brought to trial and, if found guilty, pay the penalty. So yeah, nobody gets to use "misbuilding" as a defense. Sure, it's true by definition; the structure was clearly not built right, but coming up with a word that magically takes the onus off of the wrongdoer, especially one who knowingly cheats the system for personal gain, putting others in harm's way in the process?... yeah, that dog won't hunt (too redneck?).
Indeed, inserting "mis" in front of a verb doesn't give one carte blanche to do what they may without ramifications unless, it seems, we're talkin' the "Sorry, I misspoke" line to which I reply: Are you freakin' kidding me? Like that's even a real thing?!... Yep, turns out it is. Sure, the lion's share of this ludicrous tactic can be placed squarely on the shoulders of the politicians and pundits making the rounds on the political news shows (yeah, big surprise) but lately, this ruse seems to be omnipresent, a part of the landscape. Worse still, is how nonchalantly the term is tossed around, as if it referred to something as harmless as forgetting the words to a pop song or accidentally saying "accidentally" instead of "incidentally" or claiming to be "taken back" when clearly they're "taken aback" which, incidentally (not "accidentally") , is the correct way to be taken when indicating you've been surprised or startled and... yeah, I realize I've veered off course here. Look, the point is "misspoke" doesn't work. You knew perfectly well the words coming out of your pie hole at the time; you just didn't think you'd get caught and called out on em'.
As concerning as all this is, I'm more troubled as to where it goes from here. What other verbs are waiting in the wings for their opportunity to team up with "mis" to wreak havoc, especially the ones who've already established their place in our working vocabulary under a different definition? How easy would it be to tweak their current meaning into a kick-ass excuse? A person steals something from somebody, gets nabbed and pleads, "Sorry, I mistook; clearly, I meant to steal someone else's stuff." Or, a forger, nailed dead to rights for check fraud, offers a sheepish smile and the excuse, "Pardon me, I obviously misspent." Or how about your everyday arsonist getting caught red-handed only to proclaim, "This wasn't the fire I meant to start at all; it was a misfire, I tell ya!" Or even that judge from the earlier scenario who, after being called out by the legal community, drafts a response saying "Upon further review, I realize I may have misjudged the situation." Talkin' a slippery slope, people. One that, just like the high-rise, will eventually collapse like a house of cards.
And just so there are no mistakes, miscues or misunderstandings here regarding misusing "mis", don't misinterpret this missive as a misstep or misguided attempt at using misdirection as an excuse for misrepresenting the facts. No doubt, misspeaking is misleading, its mission to intentionally misinform and misdirect and my mission--BTW, not accidentally (not "incidentally")--and don't be taken aback (not "back), was to create a little mischief.