The Italian Connection
After a whirlwind four-week trip to Italy with over a dozen destinations followed by the super long flight back to L.A. (abetted by a 6-hour delay in Paris due to the CrowdStrike software glitch grounding planes this past Friday), along with the accompanying jet lag taking its toll on an already shortened writing window, I'll just offer a quick take on a handful of the more noteworthy things that stood out during my visit to Italia:
The crowds: Gotta say, if Waldo decides to vacation in Italy during the summer?... yeah, no way you're finding him. From the islands of Sicily and Capri up through Naples, Florence, Rome and Bologna to Lake Como in the north, and yes, even along the canals of Venice, it is wall-to-wall people. Talkin' Woodstock without the bands. Formula 1 racing without the cars. A Jimmy Swaggart megachurch service without the scandals. So what is the vast majority of this throng doing? Taking selfies, of course. At first glance, you'd swear you were attending a narcissist convention. And then, after another couple of takes, you realize, yeah, you are.
The daily fashion show: Whadya' call a cross between prom night, the red carpet at the Oscars and the runway at an exclusive high-profile fashion show? Well, if you're in Italy it's just another Tuesday night. Some women dress to the nines; these donne have taken a page from "This Is Spinal Tap" and amped their output "up to eleven".
Minimalism: When it comes to Air B&B's or hotel rooms, expect the showers to be smaller. And then, expect that expectation to be cut in half, to the point where you can't help but accidentally hit the hot or cold water valve with a body part resulting in being scalded or chilled to the bone before you can adjust. Elevators, too, can be compact, many barely capable of carrying two passengers (if they're skinny teenagers) with meager luggage (fanny packs). Also, don't expect a large cappuccino to go; they're all small and the espresso is like two shots, tops. And while many will say my attitude speaks to our excessiveness here in the States, I'm betting if you go you'll follow my lead once back home by ordering your fave large java at Coffee Bean and drinking it in your now comparatively huge bathroom shower.
The stairs: Remember the iconic scene from "Rocky" where Sly Stallone runs up the 72 steps leading to the east entrance of the Philadelphia Museum of Art? Yeah, I used to get winded just watching it. Not anymore. That's child's play in the Italic Peninsula. When checking the "Flights Climbed" on my iPhone Health App, instead of a number there was a picture of a guy with x's for eyes, his tongue sticking out, lying stone-cold dead in a heap. And the usual solace to be taken knowing you'll be walking down the stairs as many times as you went up never seemed to materialize. I was in an uphill trajectory 80 - 85% of the time. How does that happen?
Temperament and gesturing: The "talkin' with your hands" deal"?... yeah, it's for realz. That and the whole "in your face" machismo thing. I got to see it plenty of times up close and personal, witnessing a taxi driver ripping up a business card I'd received from another taxi driver who was trying to hone in on his turf. Then there was my bus driver, all hot and bothered, about to go toe-to-toe with a truck driver twice his size because he was blocking the road. And don't get me started about the screaming match with the proprietor of our small hotel in Cefalu, Sicily resulting in her husband, doing his best Tony Soprano impression trying to bully me into paying for an extra room we had cancelled. At least, that's what I think he was doing; 'cause, like, it was all in Italian.
The food: Yeah, it's everything they tout it to be... if you go to the right places. I had a couple of the best pizzas ever. Likewise, pasta to die for. Fresh, natural ingredients are the key. Just know that plenty of restaurants employ the "used car salesman technique", swarming at you in droves in an attempt to seat you before you're ready, the whole time steering you to the pricier entrees on the menu. They're plenty slick and I'm pretty sure one of 'em even said, "What'll it take to get you behind the plate at this table?" Again, it was all in Italian but I had a sense.
The churches: When it comes to frequency of sightings they make Starbucks look like... I don't know, a place that seemingly was fantastically successful but is now down on their luck? Ya' know, kinda like Sears. I'm not sure how they all stay in business unless parishioners are attending a half dozen of 'em every Sunday.
The gondoliers of Venice: Gotta say, the grace with which these guys maneuver those exquisite row boats (each costing around 40,000 euros) is a thing of beauty. Our man had been at it for 37 years and couldn't have been more gracious, enlightening us with historical facts and pointing out sites along the way while deftly getting us around the canals. Money well spent.
Okay, so just the tip of the iceberg here today and I'll probably follow up with more on this beautiful country soon. In the meantime... Ciao-ciao!