Promotional Blogging Tactics

Come on in. Take a load off. Put your feet up. And just so you know, this here blog is free. That's right, not gonna cost you a cent. The entire piece?... on the house. Consider it a gift to you for taking the time to scope out this space. Just my way of saying I know you have a limited amount of free time and I really appreciate you spending a portion of it with me. Especially as reading takes some actual effort on your part as opposed to the easier, more passive forms of dillydallying (i.e., TV, movies, recreational substances... deep tissue body massages). And, if I'm being honest, I'm hoping it goes a long way in helping build a sincere, trusting relationship between author and reader. So, to reiterate: This particular blog contains no hidden fees, no sneaky fine print. No smoke and mirrors tactics designed to keep you off balance. No bait and switch. No rugs being pulled out from under you. This, my friends, is all on the up and up. Totally legit... An unadulterated, bona fide freebie.

But wait, it gets even better: For the next three months you'll be eligible for a highly discounted promotional price (more on that a little later). Think about it, a new publication every two weeks entitling you to six minimally-priced blogs! Crazy, right? It's like I'm giving away the store. Like I'm letting you get the milk for free without buying the cow. Well, maybe not for free but getting the milk really, really cheap without buying said cow (again, we'll talk figures in a bit). What's the catch, you're wondering? Frankly, I'm just trying to establish a rapport here. And as we all know, rapports don't happen overnight. Rapports take time. Also, you're gonna want to do a quality check to make sure that the standard of the ensuing blogs measures up to this one (a daunting task on my part, I know). Consider this a courtship, our wooing period, if you will. The perfect chance to bond. And when it comes to particulars, like after the three-month trial period, how much will the standard rates actually be?... Don't even worry about it. By then you'll be hooked, rationalizing that whatever the increase, it's a small price to pay for your bi-weekly fix.

Yeah, I get you're not buying into any of this but I just had to blow off a little steam. For those of you who said to yourself, "Here's a guy who just got his cable bill and found out the initial one-year promotion is up and the rates have skyrocketed", good on you. 'Cause, yeah, that's exactly what happened. I suddenly went from a cushy life with ample discretionary income to having everyone at the local pawn shop knowing me by first name. The worst part is I knew this was coming the day I signed up. They tell you that you can always call them and try to negotiate a new promotion just before the original one expires but, of course, eleven months down the road my head's not in the game. No, I'm the guy humming to himself as he butters up some microwave popcorn, jazzed at the prospect of the new season of HBO and Showtime original premieres slated for the evening, not realizing that the cable bill destined to show up at my doorstep the next day will force me to choose exactly which three days of the week I'll be fasting.

So, in case you haven't gathered, my take on promotional tactics is simple: they're insidious by nature, designed solely to provide you with a false sense of security as they wait in the weeds to sink their teeth into your jugular. Companies employing them know all too well that we humans tend to gravitate towards the "too easy to be true" starting point, quickly forgetting the end game: the grift. Each and every one of their iterations, be it the aforementioned limited discount up front-- a fave of cable TV and mobile phone contracts--or the credit card "no interest for a year" deal that cajoles you into maximizing your credit followed by usury charges until you're unable to fog a mirror. Not to mention, the "$50 off" maintenance coupons issued by car dealerships coaxing you through their doors only to be informed your vehicle's "digital electronic load-bearing hyperconducter" (at least that's what I think they said) is on the fritz to the tune of two months salary. Again, the word is "insidious".

Indeed, these are the times we live in, fraught with financial booby traps seemingly everywhere we go. But on the plus side?... this blog comes with no promotional gimmicks. Just, hopefully, a fun little read every couple of weeks at no charge. And, oh, by the way, each one is always accompanied by a Top Ten List with this week's "Top Ten Tips On Combating Promotional Offers" being a real doozy. And just so you know, this here Top Ten List?... on the house. That's right, not gonna cost you a cent. Just my way of saying I know you have a limited amount of free time and blah, blah, blah. Do check it out (we'll talk pricing down the road).