Please Don't Send In The Clowns
Okay, so let's say you have a blind spot, ya know, something that virtually everyone else is familiar with but has somehow alluded you from your childhood, through your teenage years and, thus far, into adulthood. And let's just say that something is clowns. Could happen. Especially, if you're a younger adult, a product of a time when reality is basically you looking at a social device 80% of the time, with the remaining 20% used for grabbing some grub and catching a little shut-eye. I mean, it's not like the circus comes to town anymore, and TV and movie studios aren't exactly clamoring for these face-painted eccentrics, so outside of the one-off Halloween costume or a scene from an old movie, there's a good chance these maniacal characters never reach Gen Y or Z's consciousness. And yeah, I get that the film, "Joker", did a billion dollars in box office a few years back, but in no way was it reflective of circus clowns. Circus clowns are way scarier.
As a kid, I grew up with Bozo who, I guess, could be called king of the clowns. Or maybe, "Your Clownness". Or, "His Excellency, the Clownmaster". Or, whatever those goofy buffoons were calling their Grand Poobahs back in the day. This zany dude had a show on TV and made public appearances at county fairs and amusement parks all over the land. He even launched his own cartoon. That's right, a freakin' clown cartoon! Utilizing whiteface, a red nose, a blue-and-red outfit and oversized red hair, coupled with a uniquely hoarse voice and crazed manner of talking, this joculator mesmerized us right out of the gate. In looking back, it's obvious he was the Pied Piper of our generation, luring in his young audience with an audacious, over-the-top performance, all tinged with the irreverence of the class cutup. If he'd have asked, we'd all have run off with him to join the circus in a New York minute.
So how did all of this come about? What were the combined elements to cause this crazy-ass amalgamation, unleashing this perfect storm upon mankind? Actually, you have to go all the way back to ancient Egypt at around 2500 to 2400 BCE (insert your own Keith Richards joke here). That's right, 4,500 years ago. Initially, a clown's job was to be the buffoon, kind of a secondary figure in public show or play, a prankster who would parody the actions of more serious characters. All and all, pretty benign stuff. But, eventually, they evolved into court jesters who were looked upon favorably by the nobles if, indeed, they managed to leave them rolling in the aisles. If not, things could take a serious turn with the failed jokesters suffering mightily. Ya know, kinda like Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Kimmel.
Interestingly, the modern day clowns, the ones we've come to know and fear today, can be attributed to Joseph Grimaldi, a British actor and pantomimist (1778 - 1837), the man responsible for the classic white face makeup, colorful hair and over-the-top physical comedy. So if you want a clown face to go with the crime, Joey's your guy. And now, having been dead almost two centuries, no doubt kickin' it with his clown posse in that big tent pole production in Circus Hell, the rest of us are stuck here with the fallout in the form over-the-top face-paintings, baggy clothes, silly cars and seltzer bottles. And the footwear. Let us not forget the footwear. Those gigantic clown shoes. "Designed to signify silliness" was their reasoning, ya know, just in case you'd somehow missed that vibe with the rest of their getup and quirky horseplay (and if so, I've got a bridge I wanna sell you).
Alright, so back to the original premise: If you're a member of Gen Y or Z, there's a decent chance that the world of circus clowns has yet to make it onto your radar. So, give thanks that it's only the never-ending student loan payments and a dearth of meaningful jobs that's been afflicted upon you and not the asinine antics of men with self-imposed exaggerated makeup, bodacious costumery and oversized bowling shoes, their legacy exemplified in your waking up nightly in a cold sweat, unable to shake their leering smiles from your consciousness. My advice?... take this for what it is, a cautionary tale and not a curiosity piece and absolutely refrain from googling these mischief makers. They may look the part of a simpletons, but it's all a ploy; their mission is to get attention and then keep it, by any means. If you see one in public, do not make eye contact! Instead, get to the other side of the street as quickly as possible--jaywalk if necessary--and never, ever look back.