Sixth Blog: Mashups

I get it, culture is always evolving. Whether for better or worse makes for stimulating group chats, barroom discussions, a shoving match or two, the ocassional fist fight, possibly a full-fledged Jets vs. Sharks "West Side Story" gang brawl, ya' know, with rumble chains and switch blades, the streets laden with testosterone... (too much?). Granted, there are a host of variables impacting people's viewpoints regarding cultural innovation: age, race, socio-economic standing, marital status, life experiences... whether or not they stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night. In the end, however, it's moot; change is inevitable.

Okay, so count me in; I'm all for it. Except when it's, like, really, really stupid. So, yeah, if you haven't sussed it out yet (or read the title) I'm talking about "mashups". Webster defines them as "something created by combining elements from two or more sources". I personally define them as people looking to make a buck on unsuspecting others who are bored senseless and could be talked into renting not one but at least two or three boxes of dirt... tiny boxes, actually, for an exorbitant price, for a long-assed time... no questions asked (too much again?). To reiterate, I'm all for progress but change for change's sake that isn't organic and doesn't contribute positively to mankind?... Exactly. Knew you'd see it my way.

Indeed, mashups can be applied to virtually everything we experience in life, but the two most prevalent today, undoubtedly, are music and food. In music it's the mixing of two or more songs, i.e., Cher and Smash Mouth's "Do You Believe in Smash Mouth?" (upon listening?... no, not even close) or Carly Rae Jepsen and DMX's "X Gon' Give it To Ya Maybe" (then again, guys?... maybe not). And when it comes to food combos nothing's out of bounds: the pasta burrito, nacho lasagna, mac n cheese ice cream, sushi cake... the PB&J grilled cheese duck sandwich (if you threw up a little bit in your mouth there you're not alone).

So yeah, this is what it's come to: instead of using all of our brain power on fixing the planet or overcoming worldwide poverty, disease and famine, we've opted to combine two dissimilar things hoping against hope that they'll stick. And this is why somewhere in this country a couple old friends sit at lunch, one querying, "How's your son doing in med school; still intent on finding the cure for cancer?" followed by a pregnant pause and a wince, "Yeah, he's off that; working on this dim sum-tofu flapjack recipe designed to be eaten while listening to the dulcet tones of the ABBA/L L Cool J' mashup "Mamma Mia Said Knock You Out".

I know, I know, complaining's not gonna help (but it sure feels good getting it off your chest). As stated, change is inevitable and mashups seem here to stay, so I guess I'm wondering how do I regroup; how do I adapt? How do I put my spin on it?... Well, we know mashups can basically be applied to any field so how 'bout I opt for something in my wheelhouse; say something like... "Mashup Words?" Granted, there's no money in it but who knows, if it goes viral, I could be trending. I could be known as the Word Mashup Guy. Hellz yeah, this is good; this can work!

Okay, right out of the gate: "slumberjack", ya' know, for all the narcoleptic tree fellers out there. Or maybe "brain freeze frame", a quick pic of someone grimacing after eating ice cream too fast. How about "pick-pocket watch" for when you observe a thief lifting someone's wallet? Ooh, "stumble in the hay", kinda like when you think you're gonna get lucky but end up embarrassing yourself, coming up empty. And check this out: you attend a men's gala in Rome; what is it?... An "Italian sausage fest", duh! (yep, knew it when I said it... sorry). Try this on: "praise the roof" for when you get really excited about the top of someone's house... Alright, not my best, but I've got more. Give me a second... No, really... Hey, don't be like that. C'mon, I'm almost trending here!