Mad Lib

Don't know about you, but when I'm upset the last thing I want or need is someone trying to cheer me up. Trying to take me out of my funk at a moment's notice. Nope, I'm a wallower. Once possessed by that dark cloud I'm in it for the long haul. Being enraged has to take its course; it can't be hurried. Mad is as mad does. And it does take time. Sometimes, lots of it. And any attempt at prematurely ending the foul mood by a second party is grounds for a righteous comeuppance. If that person is lucky they might get off with the stink eye or the "are you freakin' kidding me?" look, the one signaling they'd be best off running for the hills before any actual mental menacing takes place. If said individual is slow on the uptake then... I'm sure there'll be some lovely parting gifts for them as they're ushered out. Whether or not the verbal assault warrants a restraining order or some kind of therapy (or both) depends on the level of my anger and the person aiming to assuage my outrage. You'd think family would draw a bye; you'd be wrong.

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that this "letting my madness play out" trait isn't just me. That most people need ample time to allow anger to abate, both mentally and physically. That this very powerful emotion is oftentimes a product of a diverse set of circumstances, developing its strength in stages, its reversal thus requiring a commensurate timeframe to ratchet down to a normal temperament. Kinda like using a frying pan to heat something up. Once you turn off the burner that cookware's gonna be hot for a long time before receding to medium warm then tepid and finally room temperature. So yeah, it's just physics. Kinda like Newton's third law of motion: you know, to every action, there is always opposed an equal reaction. Not sure if that's a justifiable comparison but anytime I have a chance to steal from Isaac's playbook I'm goin' there.

Naturally, there are varying degrees of anger, all dependent on causation. They can range in scale from relatively minor, as in your reaction to your cat suddenly scratching you or the frustration of having the movie box office window sell out just as you reach the front of the line. A more middle-of-the-road vexation may be that your cat, appearing contrite over the scratching incident, sheepishly snuggles up to you momentarily only to scratch you again or you witness the guy who closed the box office window snickering at you over your disappointment. And some serious fury might be roused when you discover the box office guy stole your cat (although, judging by its latest behavior, the dude probably did you a solid). Bottom line: I may or may not have had an incident with the box office guy at my local cinema lately.

Indeed, people deal with their anger in a host of different ways. Some go the spiritual route through prayers or attempt to reach their zen via meditation. Others opt for the positive physicality of working out, be it on the punching bag, taking a long run, lifting weights or doing laps in the pool. On the negative side, some turn to drugs or alcohol to medicate their fury. And some people take it out on other people or maybe their pets (which might explain that whole cat-scratching episode). Anger is the reason we have so many jails, why road rage has gone from a phenomenon to just another Tuesday and why we only hear what we want to hear and see what we want to see. Anger is what feuds are made of. It's what fuels wars. It's the ultimate divider and it seems to be increasing exponentially worldwide with a scope and breadth that causes one to sit back and wonder where it's all going to end.

Huh, that got dark real quick. Sorry, I tried to keep it light with the cat scratching and the mean box office guy but in the end I guess my anger got the best of me. 'Cause, yeah, I'm that upset, in a fit of pique so to speak; a real snit. I don't wanna get into it here but suffice it to say that I'm as angry as I've ever been, Seething, actually. I'm that scorching hot frying pan I alluded to earlier, not about to reach room temperature any time soon. It's gonna be a real stretch before I come close to turning this around. How long? Who can say? Rough estimate... four years... give or take?