How to Make Friends, Influence People, Lose 20 Pounds In a Month and Travel Europe on Just $50 a Day
Hey, have you ever wondered what's the proper way to eat crawfish or cut a pomegranate? Or maybe you're in the dark when it comes to installing vinyl plank flooring or opening a bottle without a bottle opener. And all you novice hunters, wouldn't you kill to become proficient at dressing a deer or mastering a duck call? Or for those who prefer the indoors, how cool would it be to learn how to tango all by yourself? Or better still, excel at the art of moonwalking? Or, get this, be able to do "Gabriela hands" (trust me, it's a thing)? Could be, you're jonesing to get the knack of using chopsticks, putting a zigzag part in your hair or finally figuring out how to correctly hold a cat, a baby or a golf club. Or if you're really adventurous, how 'bout you learn how to glow up? Yeah, it's like this complete makeover highlighting physical appearance, confidence and self-esteem. Crazy, right?
So, this "How To" market stuff, it just keeps on growing. And it's been doing so for quite some time, cutting its teeth back in the 1970s and 80s when books, magazines and instructional guides showing you just how things were done became all the rage. And, of course, now we have the internet, where you can log onto YouTube or TikTok and watch people enlighten you on mastering almost anything. Want to take down a wall in your home and get that "open concept" feel?... They've got that. Need to know how to successfully apply a tourniquet to your nearly severed arm after the load-bearing wall collapsed on top of you?... Yeah, they're all over it. And while you recover, how 'bout learning how to sue the pants off the guy who gave you the wall tear-down instruction in the first place... Not to worry, they'll provide the skinny.
But, no problem, right? It's all good?... Seemingly. But then again, the times, they are a-changin'. In case you haven't noticed, I've been a bit obsessed with AI lately. How can you not be when every second commercial on TV, piece in a magazine article, or topic on social media is singing its praises? If you believe the hype, we're on the precipice of eliminating the work week while exponentially advancing medicine, creating an overabundance of clean and renewable energy, successfully feeding the entire world and, who knows, maybe even providing a cure for that pesky male pattern baldness. And while everyone seems to be selling us their version of how this new transformational technology is going to save the planet, I seriously wonder how it will coexist with all that is "How To". Think about it, at some point, we're gonna have our own personal robots capable of extracting virtually any information on earth and physically applying it towards whatever task we want done, meaning, we, the middle-man, will become eliminated.
Ahh, but there are plenty of people out there who enjoy the whole DIY thing, and now, with even more free time (because of all the AI, of course), they'll be able to "do it" 'til the cows come home. Sounds great on paper, kinda like the lottery winner claiming they'll never quit their job. Right, until the first time their boss rubs 'em the wrong way, and they're recreating the scene from "Office Space" where Jennifer Aniston's waitress character flips off her boss for giving her grief about not wearing enough tacky buttons (you know, "flair") and storms out. After all, what's more fun, getting involved in a messy, extensive house renovation or sipping an umbrella drink from a safe vantage point while watching your robot crew in action?
Indeed, changes are coming, so I guess the bottom line for anyone considering writing a "How To" book is to get it done now 'cause that genre is liable to be defunct sooner than it took HAL 9000, the spaceship's AI from "2001: A Space Odyssey", to eject Dave into outer space. That's right, we'll be getting the new and improved version of HAL, the one controlling all of our personal computers, able to source everything imaginable to fulfill our every need while we languish away, firmly ensconsed in a daytime drinking buzz, watching old reruns of "I Love Lucy" and "Gilligan's Island".
Anyway, not to fret, you're still able to make friends and influence people without having to consult a book (c'mon, who wouldn't love for your influence to rub off on them?). And, sure, if you put your mind to it you can lose 20 pounds this month (someone with your exceptional willpower can accomplish anything). And as for that traveling Europe on $50 a day thing?... Yeah, that's not gonna happen. Okay, gotta bounce. Gonna learn how to "glow up" and, who knows, if I have a little time afterwards, I might just attempt those "Gabriela hands".