Death By Misadventure, In A Nutshell

So, here's a scenario: A guy decides he wants to become a peanut farmer, right out of the blue, with nary an agricultural sentiment expressed prior.  Hell, the man's never even been on a farm.  Truth is, he's only ever tasted a peanut once in his life when he was, like, seven. So, what gives?... Who knows, could be he's an ardent admirer of our old ex-president, Jimmy Carter, who, along with his whacky clan, ran their own goober biz.  Or, maybe the iconic Planter's mascot, Mr. Peanut, somehow spoke to him.  Either way, he's totally gung-ho, managing to scrape up enough cash to put a down payment on a small peanut farm in Georgia.  In no time, he's got his truck packed and is off on his journey. As soon as he arrives, he immediately goes out to the fields, breathes in the fresh aroma of an already ripening acreage of legumes, picks his very first, shells it and takes a bite.  Three hours later, he's found dead on the ground, due to anaphylactic shock, the result of a peanut allergy. And that, my friends, may be deemed "death by misadventure".

Crazy term, right, "death by misadventure"?  Sounds more like the result of being snakebit in the "Well of Souls" scene in "Raiders of the Lost Ark" or being really, really unlucky in your first game of Russian Roulette.  Or, more to the point, the consequence of agreeing to appear on the Ellen DeGeneres show before it was put down for humane purposes. Anyway, the phrase is used to describe a preventable death when one succumbs from the process of willingly taking a risk in what could be deemed a lawful activity.  The risk, in the opening scenario, was in the would-be farmer knowing he had a peanut allergy--the reason he'd eaten only one at age seven.  Unfortunately, his take on his youthful, rather benign allergic reaction, coupled with the thought that he'd probably outgrown the intolerance, cost him an arm and a leg.  And another arm and a leg, plus, ya know, like a head and a torso. So, yeah... everything.

For the record, adding the word "misadventure" when discussing the cause of death was first used by coroners in the UK back in the 1900s as a way to distinguish between a risk taken voluntarily and an accident.  Likewise, the differentiation between misadventure and suicide or homicide is that the former offers no intent to die, an important revelation when it comes to assigning blame or assisting an insurance company in whether or not they are liable for that big payout.  So, the next time you're hanging over a cliff, attempting to take that all-important selfie, knowingly putting yourself in harm's way, ask yourself this one vital question, "Did I or did I not put that 'death by misadventure' rider in my life insurance policy?"... Yeah, chances are you didn't, so stop what you're doin', take the classic scenery shot and be done with it.

Gotta say, I was a bit frustrated by the lack of an origin story for such a dramatic cause of death moniker. Having researched numerous websites, not only did I not get the specific year of its inception but there was no mention as to the coroner who initially coined the term.  Indeed, I'm thinkin' this man (or woman) was a drama queen (or king).  "Death by mishap", "demise by misfortune", "expiration due to calamity", all seem to be a more suitable label than a full-throated "misadventure", leading me to believe that this person may have suffered from Walter Mitty syndrome, yearning for a more exciting life outside of the coroner's office.  Whatever the reason for this over-the-top cause of death handle, it really doesn't sound as much medical as it does a title of a Jules Verne novel...  Just sayin'.

Luckily, it appears that the myriad of other professions haven't followed suit when it comes to overembellishing their particular lingo.  Nurses still take our "blood pressure", not our "hemoglobin highway thrust".  A marketing analyst is still concerned with "brand awareness", not ID wokeness".  They're still "flower arrangers", not "flora fixer-uppers", "sous-chefs" not "second-banana culinarians"... "air traffic controllers" not "flying skybus honchos".  "Perpetrating jurisprudence" never replaced "practicing law", "executing the plush kicks" didn't supplant "peforming the soft shoe" and, yeah, "gizmo street smarts" didn't unseat "tech savvy".  And while all that might seem a bit comforting, I still can't help feeling bad for that novice peanut farmer.  I mean, what was he thinking?