10) You woke up this morning on the wrong side of the bed. Like in between the box spring and the wall.

 9) You were alarmed to discover a paunchy, rather unattractive intruder standing in front of you in your bathroom. Even more so when you noted it was your reflection in the mirror.

 8) Out of milk, you were forced to eat your Grape Nuts with tap water. Right up until the chipped tooth incident.

 7) Just out the door your paperboy hit you up for the last two months deliveries. As you got in the car you suddenly realized you hadn't been getting the newspaper for years.

 6) On your way to work you were flipped off by a passing motorist, a couple of nuns and an out-of-state tour group.

 5) When you pulled up to the company parking lot you were amazed to find it’d been converted into a Persian Rug Outlet. You queried the owner but he only spoke Persian.

 4) In your office you found the new guy and an interior decorator, armed with color swatches and a measuring tape, the two cackling over your furniture and artwork choices.

 3) You decided to skip lunch and exercise. A pulled hammy and a bulging disk later your chiropractor caught you taking a bite of her club sandwich. She immediately cracked your back, ya’ know, for spite.

 2) On the way home, you were flipped off again by the same motorist, nuns and out-of-state tour group. Luckily, you never noticed as you were too busy changing your flat tire.

And the top ten indication that today was no bed of roses?

 1) Finally, back in the solace of your own home, your chipped tooth throbbing, you realized you'd forgotten to buy milk and the only thing in the cupboard was iodized salt. That and the Grape Nuts.