10) In your latest public conversation you employed the attention-getting "pause for effect" device so often that concerned onlookers, thinking you were stroking out, called for emergency services.

9) You've started a Go Fund Me page with the heading: "You Know, 'Cause It's Me!"

8) You attended a Narcissist's Convention and gave the keynote speech which is saying something 'cause, like, everyone there would've killed to give that speech.

7) Peacocks have been known to strut by you, rolling their eyes, shaking their heads and tisking under their breath.

6) You've gotten into the habit of constantly referring to yourself in the third person which is obnoxious enough. It's the string of superlatives leading up to it that have people looking for the exits.

5) You recently read a blog entitled "You Probably Think This Blog is About You" and yeah... damned if you didn't.

4) The last time you attempted to field a compliment with even the slightest trace of humility was... um... er... anybody?... Anybody?!

3) You've given explicit instructions that nobody is to look you directly in the eye... not even your optometrist.

2) When Terrell Owens, maybe the most egotistical football player ever, was quoted as saying, "I love me some me!" you sued him for plagiarism.

And the number one indication that you just might be vain:

1) For years now you've been vacationing exclusively at "The House of Mirrors".