TOP TEN INDICATIONS THAT MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, YOU'RE GETTING OLD

10) Lately the bulk of your mail is offers for hearing aids, reverse mortgages, walk-in bathtubs and stuff you can't remember ordering.

9) "Ya know, back in my day"... "I remember when"... "Yeah, well, when I grew up"... are the start of 50% of your sentences. The other 50% are just you mumbling under your breath.

8) It's not that you take a lot of naps, it's just that you're hardly ever awake.

7) The amount of times you go into a room, stop, scratch your head and say, "What did I come in here for again?" now officially exceeds how often you actually know why you came in the room in the first place.

6) You can't help but notice your patience level isn't as high as it used to be. Likewise, your height.

5) You're really, really good at planning your med dosages for the week. Now if you could only remember to take 'em.

4) Too often you're the oldest in the crowd. And it's not like you're hanging at college campuses either. We're talkin' shuffleboard courts, community arts and crafts... the occassional octogenarian birthday party.

3) You've developed a sudden disdain for anything you deem new. Ya' know, like Post-It Notes.

2) While you can't prove it, you have the sneaking suspicion AARP has you on speed dial.

And the top ten indication that maybe, just maybe you're getting old:

1) You keep tellin' "that darn kid next door" to get off your lawn. Ya' know, the one whose retirement party you attended last month.